So, today I finally had a day “off” (not really – I just decided that some homework didn’t need to be finished today so I took a day off from school), and I decided to trek it out to the mall. Wedding season is coming up, and I need some fancy dresses and shoes!
Unfortunately, I seemed to have gained a lil’ bit of pudge over Easter, so I looked ugly in everything. Except I probably didn’t, I just felt ugly in everything. I guess it didn’t help that my hair was a frizzy mess and I had huge dark circles.
Why is it so damn hard to love yourself, no matter now you look?
Sure, I should exercise more. If I put in a little time to do sit-ups and push-ups my skin wouldn’t look so flabby. But I’d like to be able to love myself even when I don’t put in the time to look fit and trim. If I can’t love myself now, then will I really be able to once I have an “ideal” body?
And walking around a mall with massive posters of photo-shopped women certainly doesn’t help matters. Seriously, you go to a mall to find clothes that make you look good, and instead you just end up feeling like crap because the clothes you try on don’t look the same on you as they do on the manikins – you tell yourself that the manikins are fake, but your brain still gets upset!
That is what I call the shopping dilemma. And no matter how many times I go to the mall, I experience it over and over again!
P.S. I wrote about my issues with clothing before, here.